I know, I know, my review title is crass and probably a little inappropriate, but I’m frustrated at the moment and will take sexual innuendo any way I can. It’s hard out there for us singletons. I’ve often said that I’ve never felt more alone than when in a roomful of other gay men. I’m willing to bet there are others, like me, who have felt invisible at a bar, a dance party, or even a Pride event. I have observed what it looks like when people show interest in each other enough to know when it hasn’t come my way. I’ve found myself on the outside looking in on more occasions than I care to count. I know I probably need therapy or at least a quality Self-Esteem Building class, but in the meantime, I feel justified in being all up in my feelings from time to time and in making groan-worthy puns.
Apologies in advance to the filmmakers, but it is this mindset I found myself in while watching Lavender Men, the sweet, probing film from director Lovell Holder and co-written by Roger Q. Mason, who also stars. Based on a theatrical production the pair created, Mason plays Taffeta, a non-binary person of color, who stage manages a stodgy play about Abraham Lincoln. With a cis white cast who treat Taffeta as a person who merely washes their clothes, or worse in the case of an actor who abuses them, Taffeta doesn’t feel seen or appreciated. Complicating things, Taffeta has an unrequited crush on the show’s director and fails in their attempt to connect with a sexy audience member they see on a dating app. With so many soul-crushing moments in succession, it’s no wonder when Taffeta finds themself alone in the theater, they long for a different world.
Playing a chandelier, Mary Todd Lincoln, a tree, and other assorted objects and characters, Taffeta fantasizes about a love affair between Lincoln and a young legal clerk named Elmer Ellsworth, who in reality was the first casualty in the Civil War. There has been speculation for some time that he and Lincoln shared much more than a deep friendship. Assigned to do more research on Lincoln by the show’s director, Taffeta puts together the pieces of this secret love story.
Mason brings a lovely vulnerability to their role yet has the snap, bite, and vocal resemblance to Wanda Sykes. It’s tough to simultaneously navigate bravado and a crumbling sense of self, but Mason does so beautifully. For most of the running time, Taffeta has a front row seat to Abe (Pete Ploszek, a standout in Season 5 of You) and Elmer’s (Alex Esola) growing attraction for each other. As their relationship deepens, it only serves to remind Taffeta of their inability to connect with others.
As such, what appears to be a film about someone who may have been our first gay President, evolves into a story of a fierce, brave yet lonely and ostracized soul who goes on a journey to find their voice and insert themself into the center of their own story. Ploszek and Esola do fine work and have good chemistry as they inch their way towards each other. It helps that both actors originated their roles in the stage version.
Instead of opening up the play, Holder remains true to the show’s theatrical roots, yet finds a way to make it cinematic nevertheless. Holder gets great help from cinematographer Matthew Plaxco, who despite the obvious low budget, has a knack for lighting and framing. The film may be mostly stagebound but it’s not stagey. Through some well-executed and brief flashbacks, we empathize more and more with Taffeta. It’s a wonderful surprise considering this story traffics in issues of identity better suited for a student’s Masters Thesis than a piece of cinema. That they pull it off as we tag along, hoping our protagonist can emerge from the darkness, is no small feat.
If I were to nitpick, and let’s face it, I’m gonna, I’ll admit that this material may feel too much like a dissertation for some. Plus, the final moments, however moving and inspiring, end on a bumper sticker piece of dialogue instead of something a little more character specific. It’s OK, though. It still gets its point across. So the next time I find myself stuck in a corner somewhere, I’m gonna look for a Taffeta. We’ll have a good time instead of obsessing over the Abe’s and Elmer’s in the middle of the floor.
By Glenn Gaylord, Senior Film Critic
Lavender Men opens in select cities including NewYork, Los Angeles and Washington D.C. on Friday, May 2nd, 2025 with additional locations to be announced
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