When I hear the words “musical parody” my sphincter tends to tighten, but just a few bars in watching Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical Parody—now playing Off-Broadway at The CuIture Club—I knew there was nothing to fear, and immediately loosened up. Now, let’s leave the butt references to the show…they are bountiful.
With book, music, lyrics and orchestrations by Dylan MarcAurele (Pop Off, Michelangelo!) this loving spoof of the Canadian gay hockey drama that became a pop culture phenomenon is pucking hilarious. A musical parody that’s up there with the good ship Titanique, currently riding high on the waves of four Tony nominations in the midst of its Broadway transfer. Showing just how far this kind of comedy can go.
The show opens as three homey middle-aged “wine moms”, Susan (Ryann Redmond), Susan (Cherry Torres), and Susan (Ryan Duncan), pour themselves a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc into their outsized Yeti tumblers and settle down to watch their favourite television show. You know the one, featuring hot young gay men looking sad and having sex, oh, and playing some ice hockey now and then too. It’s a smart framing device that immediately makes the show’s warm intentions towards its source material clear, and feels like a tribute to the millions of viewers, including many straight women, who were touched and titilated by Heated Rivarlry.
The opening number sung by the trio of Susans, “What We Want”, with its instantly catchy staccato refrain of, “Gay hockey players with big butts having sex in their beds, on the couch, in their homes…also in hotels” is outrageous fun. The scene boasts some fabulously terrible wigs and utterly sublime vocals. Redmond is a powerhouse performer and her brassy belt is electrifying. While this show might be Off-Broadway, the entire company’s vocals are Broadway-ready impressive. Indeed, several cast members already have multiple Broadway credits. Ryan Duncan deserves a special mention, making the most of every second he is on stage embodying his raft of well-defined, distinctive characters.
Redmond’s Susan, described as “Main Susan” in the program, goes on to speak directly to the audience, acknowledging us as fellow Susans who have gathered together in a conference of Heated Rivalry devotees. As we suffer through the agonizing wait for an official second season, slated for April 2027, the on-stage Susans vow to recreate the televised Heated Rivalry story so far, in their own way, every night until then.
For anyone who has been living in a bunker for the last six months (that actually sounds pretty appealing right now), the plot centres on two rival up-and-coming professional hockey players, ripped Asian-Canadian nice guy “twunk” Shane Hollander—played here by Jimin Moon—and the more worldly, glacial Russian dreamboat Ilya Rozanov—Jay Armstrong Johnson in this version—who are rivals on the ice but develop a passionate illicit affair off it.
Shane isn’t out at home, or even to himself, let alone publicly, with a domineering hockey momager (Cherry Torres, excellent in multiple roles) all up in his business, trying to set him up with movie star Rose Landry (another wonderful turn by Redmond). While Ilya has a guilt-tripping family back in Moscow, including a disapproving terminally ill dad (Ryan Duncan), his mother’s haunting words from beyond the grave, and old-flame-turned-bff/fiancée, Svetlana.
The music swells for Ilya’s epic introspective introductory solo power ballad—all about the challenges of having such a tremendous bubble butt and being disconnected from his feelings—in one of the show’s standout numbers: “Big Ass, Cold Heart”. With its drama and longing, the song really shows off Johnson’s vocal prowess along with his “straight man” comedy chops.
The sparks begin to fly between Shane and Ilya when they find themselves doing cardio next to one another late at night in a deserted hotel gym. Shane is doing his favourite “Broadway Divas” Peloton class, when Ilya joins him and the two strenuously eye-fuck as we hear their internal monologues aloud in the steamy up-tempo musical theatre pop number “Gym Song”. The boys are so into one another, swapping hotel room numbers (he might open, he might knock) that they don’t realize that they aren’t alone, but being observed by disapproving golden girl grandma Wanda (a scene-stealing Ryan Duncan) who is pumping iron and working up a sweat with dainty 3lb pink dumbells.
As the show’s musical numbers hit all the main plot points, MarcAurele relishes in the series’ weird minor details. There’s Shane’s love for ginger ale and the romance of making a tuna melt for your lover, as well as the series’ countless time jumps between the boys’ meetings that take place over several years. Along the way, there’s a Drag Race joke, an Epstein files reference, and a nod to Connor Storrie’s YouTube youth.
Just as the Susans’ Yetis are filled to the brim with wine, so is the show fittingly stacked with sexual innuendos, with the emotional duet “Heavy Load”, delivered by Shane and his mom, a particular highlight as they ruminate on life’s burdens. Lazer focused on Shane winning games and maintaining his Reebok deal, she is utterly clueless when it comes to all the flashing neon signs indicating that he might be gay. Failing to put two and two together about her closeted son, even as she sings about the “sorrow in his smile and dildo in his drawer”.
If you’re not into audience participation, maybe don’t buy a seat on the front row. At one point a volunteer is brought on stage to play a pivotal role in a certain New York smoothie shop meet-cute, with the cast taking expert care of the audience member, who has some really fun scripted moments. The scene helps to keep the show feeling alive and immediate, as the cast impovs around them.
At the centre of this impressive ensemble, Moon and Johnson are a blast as our star-crossed hockey himbos, and make for a winning comic pairing that we feel invested in. They both convey what’s essential about these beloved characters (and the actors who play them on TV) and take things just seriously enough to allow the jokes to really land. The emotions might be heightened, but it’s funnier because they are playing them for real. Exemplified in the nightclub scene where MarcAurele takes an impactful divergence from his original numbers and gives us a blast of t.A.T.u.’s “All The Things She Said”, with the song’s self-reflective verses making it ripe for musical theatre.
The staging of the sex scenes between the hockey hunks provides some of the show’s funniest visual gags. The only thing missing is a shower scene. A good reason to will this show to go to Broadway so they can add one in.
Comedy veteran Alan Kliffer’s dynamic direction keeps things pacy and makes good use of the limited playing space, taking some of the action out into the audience, like Shane ordering a drink at the actual theatre bar (which sells smoothies, with banana). It opens up the room while drawing us in and adds a thrill of unpredictably. Sully Ross’ ambitiously versatile set, paired with Devin Cameron’s lighting, bring a satisfying flow to proceedings, while Brendan McCann’s costume design delivers suitably skimpy short shorts, some fabulous bedazzled hockey jerseys, and—praise be—a show-stopping jock strap reveal.
Heated Rivalry is prime material for this kind of treatment and MarcAurele has created something truly special here with mile-a-minute laughs. Funny as puck lyrics, nicely orchestrated catchy songs, and performances that really pop, all add up to a feel-good treat of a night out at the theatre. Go to the cottage.
By James Kleinmann
Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical Parody is now running at The Culture Club at 530 West 27th Street, New York City. For more details and to purchase tickets head to heatedrivalryparody.com.
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